Saturday, July 16, 2011

identity crisis?

over the decades i have often struggled with the person i am.
i frequently see relatives, in my smile or frown, that i never really cared for.
i didn't get the skinny arms gene or the broad shoulders gene.
i didn't get the white hair genes or the disciplined genes.
growing up, there have been ongoing phases of trying to 'recreate' myself.
watching others, gleaning ideas of how i want to  look, what i want to read or eat or do or be.
i've changed a lot over the years, thankfully.
i may not be as good a looker anymore but i have such peace.
in fact (thankyou Lord) i have such peace that, thursday, when someone tried to 'steal' my identity,
i was able to smile and laugh and know that this too would pass.
i know that the perpetrator wasn't trying to steal my identity for any other reason than my bank account,
but it got me thinking about my identity.
i've pretty  much abandoned  my old mainstream wanna-be thinking and have come into my own. . .
or maybe i should say, come into His own.
because at last, i find there is only one person i truly want to reflect, be like, represent in every area of my life. i want to identify with Christ.
He wants me to be just the way i am but with Him in  me. His love. His grace. His peace. His joy. His compassion that reaches far beyond my own limited capacity.
i no longer need to identify myself with a political stand, a doctrine, a type of art  or music or groove that only lasts for a whisp.
my identity in Him  is eternal.
- not to say i don't have my own preferences in all these worldly areas.
 i can even be a snOb at times, but i'm learning and working toward a goal -
keeping my eyes on the prize. (heaven help me )
i'll get my money back. and my identity? well it can never be stolen.
it was bought and paid for and the receipt is registered in the book of life.

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

a good time for roses

last week joe and i shopped and gardened
and cleaned and moved furniture and
shopped and gardened and putzed and detailed the house, yard , garage and gardens until the time ran out and it was finally
the day of the 4th of july bbq.
we had invited 40 friends and 30 came.
they brought steaming dishes of macaroni and cheese,
every kind of baked beans, salads, and pies
and cobbler, gingerbread and boston cream pie.
all served with large poofy clouds of whipped cream.
joe bbq'd mass quanities of chicken and
after singing grace together we all found places at various tables
or on the grass -  at home together
celebrating God's love and blessings and our freedom to gather.
we ate too much and then moved on into the long lingering afternoon
with iced tea and badmitton. horseshoes and black coffee. squirt guns and soda pops.
most of the women mingled  into little clusters, catching up on family news and the latest weightloss methods.
children ran and screamed and played while
the teenagers sat under the walnut trees playing guitars and then
crammed into a car and headed for the movie theater.
the weather was p e r f e c t. just about hot with a beautiful whisper of a breeze.
and the roses were in full bloom.
smiling, waving, quietly watching, coloring the borders of a wonderful day.
2 days later and i'm still high on it.