Saturday, July 16, 2011

identity crisis?

over the decades i have often struggled with the person i am.
i frequently see relatives, in my smile or frown, that i never really cared for.
i didn't get the skinny arms gene or the broad shoulders gene.
i didn't get the white hair genes or the disciplined genes.
growing up, there have been ongoing phases of trying to 'recreate' myself.
watching others, gleaning ideas of how i want to  look, what i want to read or eat or do or be.
i've changed a lot over the years, thankfully.
i may not be as good a looker anymore but i have such peace.
in fact (thankyou Lord) i have such peace that, thursday, when someone tried to 'steal' my identity,
i was able to smile and laugh and know that this too would pass.
i know that the perpetrator wasn't trying to steal my identity for any other reason than my bank account,
but it got me thinking about my identity.
i've pretty  much abandoned  my old mainstream wanna-be thinking and have come into my own. . .
or maybe i should say, come into His own.
because at last, i find there is only one person i truly want to reflect, be like, represent in every area of my life. i want to identify with Christ.
He wants me to be just the way i am but with Him in  me. His love. His grace. His peace. His joy. His compassion that reaches far beyond my own limited capacity.
i no longer need to identify myself with a political stand, a doctrine, a type of art  or music or groove that only lasts for a whisp.
my identity in Him  is eternal.
- not to say i don't have my own preferences in all these worldly areas.
 i can even be a snOb at times, but i'm learning and working toward a goal -
keeping my eyes on the prize. (heaven help me )
i'll get my money back. and my identity? well it can never be stolen.
it was bought and paid for and the receipt is registered in the book of life.

4 comments:

  1. oh my lovely songbird,
    so sad, actually, to read your post.

    But funny, too, how you have struggled to like yourself and then someone else walks in and wants to be just like you, too.

    Crazy how we cannot see ourselves if we look too close?

    I sense you have a feeling of contentment now.
    You know God is your guide.
    Jesus is your light.
    I know you're alright.

    Keep your faith.
    Have patience.
    And Keep writing!

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  2. JUST READ SOMETHING THAT MADE ME THINK OF YOU:

    "No storm can shake my inmost calm
    While to that Rock I'm clinging.
    Since Love is Lord of heaven and earth,
    How can I keep from singing?"

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  3. i'm sorry you see this as sad teri.
    i am overjoyed and feel a maturity happening in my faith that i can take no credit for.
    for the Lord is the author and finisher of our faith. it is a gift he gives us, not something we can conjur up ourselves. i think maybe the less we have to distract us in our older age, the more we can hear and see it.
    i lOVe the song you're quoting. (ever hear the enya version?)
    here's one too- on CHRIST the solid rock i stand all other ground is sinking sand. . .

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