Wednesday, February 23, 2011

age rhymes with sage . . .

and cage, and rage, and gauge, and page, and wage.
is it just me, or do these words resemble possible attributes of aging?
"when i look in the mirror i still only see, the kid i thought i all ways would be"
those are words to a song i wrote about turning 30. now i'm 56.
when it's just me in the bathroom, (in the perfect color and light) i see the person i've always known. but when i walk by a window, or a mirror from a distance or see a recent photo of myself, i shudder. that's so sad.
i have actually been many people in this life. most of them sad. i don't want this person to be sad anymore. i don't want to have to concern myself with how i look.
i want a light to come from me. the light of my love. my eternal gratefulness. a joy unceasing. with open arms and a smile or a tear to share with a neighbor.
can i be past my hair and my wrinkles now ? can i be past  my weight  and my figure now?
can i be past my teeth whitener and pedicures and matching nails to my lipstick?
even saying it outloud seems silly. don't get me wrong. i love feeling good in a new frock just as much as the next person, but i think you know what i mean. and i'm speaking to ME. when it becomes so important that i can't have joy without it, where will i end up? a bitter old woman, alone, and worst of all, self centered.
i don't want to be in a cage filled with rage. i want to soberly and positively gauge the page i'm on in life. with the right attitude my wage will be riches beyond my years.
'choose wisdom instead of silver, knowledge rather than fine gold , for wisdom is more precious than rubies, and nothing you desire can compare with her'
my sister's birthday made me consider these things today.
God bless you dear donna. you're more beautiful than you've ever been.

1 comment:

  1. Aw, thank you for remembering me today. Damage contains 'age', but so does 'courage' and also 'homage'. My advice: take courage, minimize damage. And thanks for paying homage to me in your rad blog. So much love, dune@55

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